How many times have you wondered if you are doing well as a mother or father? It is actually a common question and it is good that you ask yourself … It means that you want to do better and that you will find a way to achieve it if you think you are making mistakes.
This question makes it clear that for you, your children and your family come first. Show that you want their well-being above all else, despite your exhaustion or possible feelings of guilt. Nobody is perfect, neither are you. But just the mere fact of wanting to do things better is a great step that you should be proud of.
It’s not how you imagined
It is more than likely that your current life, being a mother or father, gave a lot of that idea that you had in your mind before you were. Before being a father or mother, it is normal to have idealized thoughts about what motherhood or fatherhood is.
You think you will do it one way or another. You believe that you will not make the mistakes that your parents made in the past with you, that you will not be that father or that mother who allows everything to their children, that you will not let them watch TV before they are two years old or that they will eat a totally healthy diet.
There could also be thoughts about education in your mind … maybe you were very clear about how you wanted your education and parenting to be. Because in your imagination, before it happens, everything is very beautiful.
Then the reality is another. You come across a tired life, which makes you feel bad and guilty all the time, you are worried practically 24 hours a day, you sleep poorly and you need breaks from daily stress.
This is all normal and does not have to make you feel bad. Do not blame yourself if your reality does not correspond to what you had imagined.
Things that happen to you regularly and that are normal
Do not be sad if some of these things happen to you because you are a human being and therefore, perfection does not reside within you nor should there be 100%. In fact, your children love with all their hearts that imperfect being who has given them life, who cares for them, who reads them a story every night, who takes care of them if they get sick, who wakes up at dawn to serve you with a smile whenever necessary …
And yes, it may:
- You forget to go to a medical appointment
- You put the TV on before they were two years old because you needed a break
- You leave them mobile phones or tablets so they can let you do things at home
- Lose your patience or scream sometime because stress has taken hold of you
- You feel guilty when you have time for yourself or when you want to have it
- You find it difficult to regulate yourself emotionally
- Feel that you have lost yourself and do not know what to do at a certain time
- Don’t understand your children
- Compare other children with yours
- Don’t cook as healthy as you’d like due to lack of time
- You think that your life is not as perfect as other people’s
- Your home is not as tidy as you would like
- Say NO more times than you would like
- You wonder if you’re doing it right …
It is not easy to be a mother or a father, but still:
- Your children love you above all
- It doesn’t matter if you are perfect or not, what matters is that you are there and love them
- You are the first person they turn to when they need something
- They take refuge in your lap to feel better
- Their glances of complicity are only understood by you
- His smile gives you happiness
- Although life is not easy, your family gives you enough strength to do your best at all times
And that’s when you realize that physical or mental exhaustion doesn’t matter. That is the life you want, they are your life. They are what makes you live fully despite the possible adversities that the passage of time puts you in your way.